A counselor and writer, Victor Ibeh, has shared a story of how he dated an older lady which lasted for two weeks before she broke up with h...
A counselor and writer, Victor Ibeh, has shared a story of how he dated an older lady which lasted for two weeks before she broke up with him.
Victor Ibeh, who revealed that he "had" an attraction to older women for some reasons - narrated his ordeal in order to warn people to stop testing or threatening their partners with breakup. Below is what he shared on Facebook;
At a certain time last year, I had a relationship that lasted for two weeks. We were friends before we suddenly got romantically involved. We looked like we could do so much together, so I was excited about the relationship.
She was older and that was a plus for me. I "had" this attraction to older ladies. Apart from the fact that sex with them is usually extraordinary, there is also the absence of drama and childishness. When it comes to drama, I am very impatient. I believe that an adult should know what he/she wants and avoid instability, pranks and mind games.
This is not to say that younger ladies are not gifted with these same qualities, but from experience, younger ladies can be very unrealistic. I have had so much experiences in life. I think it is beneath me at this time to have some kind of mundane romance with ineptitude. So, I just seek after people like me who have also had experiences and have advanced beyond that childish state.
However, because there is really no hard and fast rule of love and emotional transactions, I have seen so-called adults seeking succour in high school love wherein they abdicate responsibilities and immerse themselves in the muddy waters of immaturity.
The allusion to high school love, above, is just an obiter in this submission. I do not possess the intentions of expanding it's meaning and ambit in this write-up. But, on a later date, I will do a more detailed teaching or say, an explanation on that subject.
Everything about our relationship was going as we desire until one day. I called her in the morning as usual, she didn't take calls. I called 5 times but there was no response. I assumed that she was very busy with work.
I tried to send a message on Whatsapp, but I realised she had blocked me on Whatsapp. I just calmed my pussy and went to work.
At noon, I put another call across and she picked. She sounded like someone in the midst of something. I greeted her and asked how she was. She responded. Then I told her that I have been trying to reach her on the phone to no avail. I quickly mentioned that she blocked me on whatsapp. She replied that she did it intentionally, that she wasn't interested in the relationship any longer. I was shocked, because we didn't have any issues before that day.
I pleaded with her to tell me why she took that decision. She told me that she had made her decision and that she wasn't under any obligation to give me her reasons. I kept pleading with her on the phone. I just wanted to know why, in case there was something bad I did. I am someone who is constantly improving myself. I didn't have a problem with the breakup. I just wanted to know why, so, I can work on myself, especially if her grievance was legitimate.
I called back after some hours and met the same response. It took me 24 hours to process what happened. I was hurt, not by the break up, but the manner and then her attitude and also because I esteemed her above such childishness.
After 24 hours I let it go and moved on. I love my peace of mind. Some days later, she unblocked me on Whatsapp and sent a message. She began to reestablish some sort of friendship. It wasn't a problem for me. I was cool. We could be friends. At that time I had withdrawn my emotions totally. After a while of talking with me, she broached the subject of relationship to me. This time she was asking for the relationship and was telling me that she was sorry about her previous action. In summary, she tried everything possible to get us back into a relationship. I was adamant. I was done. That's the thing about me. When I pull out my emotions I don't send them back.
This experience is not an isolated experience. I have encountered ladies who would intentionally break up with you so you can beg them to come back to you. That is their own way of confirming their worth.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work on me. You cannot give me drama because you want me to validate your self-worth. I really can't.. If you don't believe in your worth, I can help you boost your self esteem but it doesn't have to be under an atmosphere of drama and mind games.
A time comes when you just have to let go of high school love and embrace adult love.
If there is an issue, discuss it. Look for a solution, but don't come with threats of break up. I kid you not. If you break up with me, I just accept it. I will not start begging. If you tell me my offence without threat, I will be remorseful and offer my apologies.
One of the ways people torture themselves emotionally is by breaking up physically, when they haven't detached themselves emotionally. It is torture and most of the time, you will come back to that partner. Don't be in a haste to breakup with someone if you are sure that you don't really want to break up. Stop testing people with breakup.
Very many times in my life, people have broken up with me, and I just said "thank you" and walked away.
When they saw the way I responded they went on to accuse me that I never loved them, but that's not true. I actually loved them but I love my peace and sanity more.
I am a very emotional person and I use my emotional energy for almost everything I do. So, I find it difficult dealing with drama and insanity. They will accuse me that I never valued the relationship and that was why I was quick to walk. I walked out of a marriage with just my books, piano and a few clothes. I left everything, I left my son that I loved so much, because nobody will grant me custody of a toddler. There is nothing I cannot walk away from. The most important thing for me in this world is my peace and sanity.
I place so much value on myself. It is not my fault that you place less value on yourself and are willing to accept bullshit. Don't assume that because you are willing to take rubbish, I should be willing too.
Let me find beer and drink fess. Please, if you don't agree with what I just wrote, take your disagreement to Jevinik and be useful to your stomach
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